These are all RESEARCH BASED books.  This is not pop psychology.  

Emotional Intelligence  – Daniel Goleman     

Despite having been written 20 years ago, the world is still slave to the idea the I.Q. only determines intelligence.  It’s obvious that we don’t just think or reason with our cortex, the I.Q. part of our brain.  We do some of our most crucial thinking in our ‘hearts’ – the mammalian layer of the brain, below the cortex.   Some people who have great IQs, sometimes have limits in hearts  (the doctor smart enough to know all the cures but not wise enough to realize that his compassion is as necessary to his care as his prescription).

This book will help you understand how brains develop.  Then you can develop your own methods and priorities instead of reading advice on how to teach or parent.   Huge message:  Our job with children is NOT just to protect and shield them from negative experiences.   When we do that we rob our children of the opportunity to learn to cope with those experiences.  We send them into the world unprepared.   Extreme example:  One family didn’t allow their daughter to have friends over, ever.  The parent’s reasoning, “Friends can be demanding and pushy and might make my child unhappy.”   Having a childhood free of strife does not guarantee a happy adult.  It does guarantee an adult with absolutely no coping skills.

Brain Rules  – John Medina       

The very latest in brain research.   For example, exercise increases intelligence, it is documented.

You Just Don’t Understand – Deborah Tannen

Men & Women, thus boys and girls have completely different social priorities and styles of communication.  The earlier we understand this the better we can talk to them.   Men compete, women share information.   Women need to make eye contact, men could care less.  Again, this is all researched based.